Resilience and Grace
Ha! Just realized I didn't publish this, a draft I wrote in November, 2013. A bit dated, but the sentiment still rings true.... The land of my birth, the Philippines, has recently been ravaged with the strongest tropical cyclone to make a landfall on record, at 315 kilometers or 196 miles per hour. CNN reporters likened it to 140 pounds of weight hitting a square foot of plywood. Reported damage is estimated at $1.1Billion, with upwards of 4,000 people dead and 11 million Filipinos affected. In the midst of the devastation and confusion, while we watched in disbelief the horrible tales of families separated, bodies strewn around, looting, blaming, and unsettled fear, I got wind of a supposed CNN -sourced quote that went like this:
"Time to get to know the Filipino people.. unbelievably resilient, long-suffering, good-natured, uber friendly, loyal, ingenious, and a bunch of survivors. At the end of the day, the Filipinos will just shake off the dirt from their clothes and thongs, and go about their business... and SMILE. They do not complain much, they will bear as long as they can. Maybe this is why they were given the "privilege" of bearing the burden of the strongest typhoon every recorded. The indomitable human spirit at its finest".
As I watched the images of destruction and death on television, I found myself feeling embarrassed to see some of my fellow Filipinos standing in the midst of the devastation smiling and waving to the CNN cameras as if it they were in in the midst of some fun location shoot. I thought - this is why the rest of the world does not take Filipinos seriously. After all, I can still recall how the entire world rallied behind Haiti, Japan, Thailand, and Sandy. Don't get me wrong -- I believe that the images on CNN tugged at the hearts and consciences of many, but I doubt if the rally for support matched those generated by the earlier disasters. My family and I discussed this at length - why not? Is it because the Philippines is too far? Or is it because even in their weakest and most vulnerable moments, the Filipinos manage to smile and convince themselves - and others - that "it's ok, we will be fine".
And then it occurred to me that this felt eerily familiar. In the face of life's strongest storms, my default is to manage to smile, stand tall and act as if everything will be OK. Despite the fact that I have lived in the USA for over half of my life, I began to doubt and worry if somehow been this trait has been genetically imbedded in me, and most of the Filipinos I know - who, now that I think of it, share this trait, regardless of where they are, what they've become or what they've achieved.
I should say that the entire quote above does not necessarily ring totally true for me. I don't consider bearing the burden of the strongest typhoon a "privilege". That's just outright masochistic.
What rings true the most for me is Resilience. I had to look it up to assure myself that I understood its meaning correctly. Webster's Dictionary defines resilience as "the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens"; or "the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent..." I wondered -- where and how does one acquire or develop resilience?
And then I thought of Grace.
I read somewhere that " Grace takes on many forms. For some, grace is forgiveness and kindness. For others, grace is elegance and class. For those who are religious, grace means God's grace, a state of love and mercy. For all, grace represents a state of being that transcends the ordinary and makes as more understanding, more loving, and more dignified..." and that "it is a gift of grace to be able to take the chaos.. and from it create some semblance of order(1)".
I don't know if one is borne resilient, if one absorbs it from her culture, or if one develops it through a series of bad events. I do agree that " grace transforms fate into a meaningful vocation. It transforms guilt to trust and courage... it happens in spite of something..."
Anne LaMott wrote:" Grace is earned and gratuitous love; the love that goes before , that greets us on the way. It's the help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desperate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you; grace is the light or electricity or juice or breeze that takes you from that isolated place and puts you with others who are as startled and embarrassed and eventually grateful as you are to be there".
And, just like the Filipino people, I have learned to ask for grace, and have been blessed with resilience.
